Silvery falls

So what is Agoraphobia.. Well Wikipedia says this about it:

Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty travelling from this “safe place”.

So what does that really mean. Well what that means for me, being a severe sufferer from agoraphobia is that I cannot step outside my apartment for more than maybe 30 to 40 seconds, before I start suffering from the symptoms of a severe panic attack, which includes sweating, rapid heat beats, shaking and a sense of being followed or hunted.

So how did this all happen or some might ask, “Where you born with this?”. My answer is no, I wasn’t born with agoraphobia, it is an disorder which that have developed after around 14-15 years of having smaller panic attacks.

After speaking with a specialized doctor, he came with a few good reasons for why I started having increasing severity of panic attacks through out my life. It started with events in my childhood, which I am not comfortable with sharing right now..

So what is it like to life with agoraphobia. Well generally it is a hell, especially if you like to go outside just for some fresh air or like the feeling of the sun on your skin or just want to take pictures of the different animals that inhabit our world.

All that, I have had to let go off, not to mention that I know depend on people for my shopping needs fully. I cannot go out and visit people and I depend on that people come to me, because that is the only way to meet others.

That is also why that the internet is really the only way for me to have a social life. It’s hard to meet new people when you cannot leave your home. Though I am lucky enough that I live in a shared basement with a few other people which are kind enough to help me with shopping and all those things, so in that way I am blessed with great friends..

But generally it is a hell to live with agoraphobia, I’d do almost anything to get rid of it, but it is not that easy, especially not when the local authority isn’t interested in helping, and yes that is rare in a country like Denmark, but mostly I think it’s because they don’t know what to do.

I don’t blame them for that, but I have many issues which I have no earthly chance to resolve by myself, partly because it is hard to be your own critical and partly because I need professional help to solve the said problems.

But anyway, that is what it’s like for me to live with agoraphobia, generally my day is spend on surfing the internet, getting something to eat and chatting with a few friends and that’s it..

Of course I am lucky enough to actually have a gaming system (several) so I never really lack anything to do, but still I would rather be able to go out just for a walk or a breath of free air or just to look at the different birds.

Severe agoraphobia = A perfect jail without parole and without a chance to escape..

Thanks for reading and I hope you found it interesting. If you liked it, I hope that you will consider digging it or stumbling it..